Remember that sample letters are just that and will work best if you put them into your own words. Also see my first contact page for more help on the subject
When a birth mom receives a private letter from you or is approached by a third party asking her to consider reunion with you, it gives her time to think it all through. She can take some time to work through her past and be ready then to accept you into her life. The point is that by being respectful of your birth mom it can also help to gain the reunion you really are looking for. |
The idea for the adoptee in writing first contact letters is to let the person know who you are without giving it all away to someone else who may find the letter and read it. With that in mind, I offer these sample letters.
Always include your full name, address or PO Box, a phone number and email address. Many people send a SASE and say that they will accept a collect call.
I have thought of you often over the years and feel we may still have much in common. If you are also interested in renewing our friendship please call or write. I am including the information needed for you to be able to do this. Thank you.
Here is another sample
Please write or call (address and phone number) I am also on the internet where you can reach me by emailing me at _____________. Expectantly waiting for your reply,
I am helping a friend who is doing genealogy research. We are hoping that you might be able to help fill in some of the missing information regarding this surname for us. We are new to genealogy research and hope we are doing things correctly.
We know that in her ‘family tree’ there are (Surname) who had resided in (city and state of your conception) at one time. One of their sons by the name of xxxx resided in (city and state of conception) in the late sixties. It appears that he was in his early twenties at that time. We also find references to (Birth Mom's name) and think there is some connection but we are not sure about this. She also lived in (city and state of conception) during the sixties.
If you think that you can be of help to us in this research please call me collect at (phone number) or write to me at P.O. Box xxx, city, state zip. Thank you for any help you may be able to provide.
Sincerely,
The situation is different for the Birth Mom trying to write to the adoptee. If at all possible try to find out from the adoption agency if the adoptive family had been advised to tell the adoptee that they were adopted. Since the mid 60's most agencies did advise the parents to do this. Of course that does not mean that they did. If their families believed that the child should not be told, they may have listened to this advise instead.
If you think that you may possibly be my Birth child and if you are interested in knowing about your heritage and medical history please contact me at the enclosed phone number or address.
You must know your birthname in order to use this:
I am requesting my medical records. I was born in (name of hospital) on
(your birthdate). My name at birth was (birth name) and I was born to (birth
mother's name). {If you don't know your birth mother's name just delete that
last part and this next sentence.} My doctor advised that I request records
for both of us. The attending physician was (doctor's name, if you know it).
I realize that my records may have been microfilmed. Please let me know if
there is a fee so that I can forward it to you. I have enclosed a
self-addressed stamped envelope for your convenience. Thank you! Remember to
use your birth name and current last name on the return envelope. The postal
carrier will usually deliver when just the first name differs.
It is a good idea to file a Waiver letter with the agency of adoption and/or the state dept that is in charge of releasing identifying information. These letters must be notarized.
I, (present identity) nee' (birthname), aka (name used to sign surrender) of (street, city, state) do state that:
I, (name) did on (month/date/year) at (hospital of birth), (hospital address) (city,state) give birth to (male/female) which I named (did not name) (birthname of child). That I, under the name of ______, did on approximate date of _____consent to (surrendered) by signature to (name and address of placing agency/intermediary/adopting parents) grant the legal right to said parties to place my child for adoption.
**I, _____ did on (month,day/year) at (address) surrender my parental rights by signature to (name of placing agency or other intermediary) of (address) and grant the legal right to said parties to place my child for adoption.
I, (present name), hereby state that I waive all rights of confidentiality extended to self under past and present identity, granted to me by the Statues of the State of _____, known court of jurisdiction thereof, and the (placing agency, person) and to my child (name at birth) in his/her present adoptive identity. That access to these confidential records is to include all court and placing agency records, all social, medical, biological history, and heritage pertaining to self; together with my past and present identity, and the identity of my child by birth. This Waiver of Confidentiality and right to privacy is extended solely to my child and none other. Permission is granted to the holder of this Waiver to furnish a photo-copy of this transcript to my child, and this is to be regarded as full consent, for the release of the original birth certificate.
**OPTIONAL: permission is granted, but limited to medical information supplied herein to be shared with the adoptive parents of said child for the overall of my child in minority or majority. This includes the right of the agency to make contact with me for up-dates or added information that the adoptee or adoptive parents may request.
**OPTIONAL: This waiver of confidentiality and right to privacy is also extended to (the adoptive parents of said child) (siblings of said child).
Signature
Dated:
Birth Name :
To Whom it May Concern :
I wish this letter to be placed in any file(s) held by your agency concerning my adoption and used as authorization to waive the confidentiality guaranteed me under law. This includes the release of any agency records, hospital records, court records, and records surrounding my birth and adoption, including " identifying information".
Further, upon request from either of my birthparents ( or siblings, grandparents, or other requesting relatives), I wish a photocopy of this letter sent or given to (him/her/them) and recognize this letter to be my consent and authorization thereto. I also request notification should one or both of my birthparents or birth relatives request this information.
I authorize to waive the confidentiality guaranteed me under law.
Please send a letter informing me of your agency's intent to recognize this waiver and, if I am refused, please site the state law that prohibits such recognition. If your state requires a specific form for this waiver, please include all necessary information.
Signed,
Dated:
I am searching for an old friend from back in (month and year of your birth) who I knew in (city of your birth). Her name at that time was (Bmom's known or suspected name) and she was about (her age at your birth). I am hoping that you may be this person.
I would like to renew our friendship that began on (date of your birth) back in (city of your birth) My name was ______ then but I now go by the name of ______. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing.
may also be used for Birthmom
RE: Genealogy, surname xxxxxx
Many adoptees who were not told that they had been adopted had feelings all their lives that they were somehow different. In some cases this was because they did not look like the rest of the family and in others because their talents and interests were so far different. It seems best to always make it appear that you are sending the letter to a number of people who were born on that date. If the adoptee is not aware of their adoption it will not seem to apply to them. However for those who have felt something odd in their lives, this will get them thinking and asking questions. Though you may feel a need to bare your soul and show how important all this is to you, it is best to hold off a little with that. Don't do anything to scare the adoptee off. Though some adoptees do have bitterness toward their Birth Mom, most do not. Most all want to know why they were relinquished and the circumstances at that time. With all this kept in mind here is a sample letter that can be used.
Has been moved to it's own page to make it easier for you to copy/paste or print it off. You will find it here
You definitely have the right to your own records. You have the right to all records that could affect your health or the health of any of your children. That means they should give you information about the condition of the baby at birth. The information you receive will refresh your memory and give you better search information.
If your hospital stay was paid for by the adoptive parents you can hope that the record will include that information. Pray for the name to show up on your record.
authorizing release of information from a birth parent's agency file.
To whom it may concern:
**OPTIONAL: I hereby submit (documents, history, record, paternity order, photos) to be added to my child's file, the same to be shared with him/her upon request.
Name:
Address:
City/State/Zip:
Notary:
authorizing release of information from an adoptee's agency file.
This Waiver of Confidentiality Applies to the Following Information as I know it to be True:
Adoptive Name :
Date Of Birth :
Hospital Of Birth :
City and State of Birth :
Name:
Address:
City/State/Zip:
Notary:
return to
Adoption Search and Reunion
Before emailing for help, please read my search tips and use the resources on my website. It took me over six months to write all this.
I can't answer questions and put all this into an email.. {:-)~[
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