ADOPTION SEARCH and REUNION





THE INTERNET FOR ADOPTION SEARCHES


Be aware of the value of search engines and how to use them. You can enter the name you are searching for into a search engine in hopes of finding the person listed on some website. Put the name in quotation marks or you will get back all with that first name and then all with the last name. Use, "John Doe" to zero in on what you want. Entering a person's phone # will sometimes bring back their address.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


While I do NOT suggest that you use a professional search company to do your search you can get help from some of their websites. One that I use to determine the age of a person when I have found an address is US Search .
You can enter a person's name, approximate age and get a list back that may give you some answers. You can also enter the state of residence but I usually leave that blank cause it is impossible to know where a person you had information about 20 years ago may be today. If I am looking for a common name then I will sometimes enter the suspected state of residence.

Another website to use in double checking a date of birth is Any Birthday. This site is part of Locateme.com . You can also find people on mail lists who have memberships to these sites who may be able to get more information for you. Be aware that the information at these websites is usually old but if per chance the person you are searching for has not moved in some time, then it will do the job.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Adoptees who have thought all their lives that their birthmothers out and out rejected them, are learning from these birthmothers what life was like back at the time they were relinquished for adoption. It is helping them to better understand what their own birthmother probably went through. They are realizing that they were not rejected and it is taking some pain away. This all helps to prepare for the day when reunion comes.

Be careful of those who are trying to turn a fast profit at your expense. I fear there are all kinds on the internet same as there are in real life. Before hiring anyone or agreeing to pay for anything, get recommendations from others.

There are people you will 'meet' who help in searches on a regular basis. Some call them 'search angels'. There are times when they must charge for part of what they do. If there is a fee they have to pay to get information for you, then do not expect them to pay that for you. It is your search and any fees associated with it are your responsibility.


LEGAL ADVOCATES


Activism in Adoptions laws

There are growing numbers of those involved in adoption searches who are trying to help change the laws in many states throughout the country. Communication for these efforts is easier to accomplish on the internet. You will find many websites pertaining to the law and advocacy for open records. When people first start out in a search they tend to shy away from these things but as their search continues, and they hit one solid wall after another that stops them in their search, they find that their interests in these areas can become strong. Many on the internet are becoming the leaders in these fights.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`


CAUTION

The internet is made up of all types of people, the same as the world at large. One needs to learn to be careful about what they post where everyone can see it. One should never post their address or phone number in a public area of the internet. Giving your address or phone number to one individual in an e-mail is sometimes all right. You must learn to judge people that you can not see. That takes some practice. Not being able to see a person's expressions can lead to misunderstandings. Everyone has to learn that the person you correspond with could take something you say the wrong way, simply because they don't know that you are smiling as you 'say' it.



PROFESSIONAL SEARCHERS


There are many professional investigators who do business through the World Wide Web. Some are very good and can provide you with much needed information. Some specialize in adoption searches and are often run by adoptees or birthmothers who have learned how to do it by doing their own search. These people have a deeper understanding of the trauma involved in an adoption search. They have been on the emotional highs and lows of a search. In hiring someone to either do a portion of your search or to do the whole thing remember, BUYER BEWARE. For links to Professional searchers.

Before hiring someone you can send a message to your mailing list asking if anyone else has used their services and what the outcome was. Generally the response will be through a private e-mail as most are concerned about liable laws that could affect them if they tell the entire list about how bad someone was.


There are some Professional Private Eyes who are very good at what they do as long as they have a name and last known address. They may not have any idea how to go about an adoption search. Be very careful of even some of the better known and advertised on TV if you do not have that all important name. Chances are they will not be able to get it for you.



CORRECT USE OF THE INTERNET


There are rules of "netiquette" that must be followed if you want to be successful in gaining helpful friends on the internet. Universal rules of being kind to one another apply. As you learn more about searching you too will be able to help others in their searches. You will find many links to help you learn about Netiquette on my pages about Search Help For Newbies. I hope you have read the beginning of this page and found it useful in your search.

There are rules for mailing lists, newsgroups, and chat rooms. If followed it makes everyone's life a little easier and all of this run smoother.

You could even find yourself deciding that you want a webpage of your own. If you do you can learn how through the internet. There are plenty of websites with all the advice you need to get started.









Some Internet Terms That You may find Useful