Q. When was the Colorado mail list started and why?

A. The Colorado Registry mail list was started in May of 1998 when I saw a need for a state specific list to deal with questions concerning Colorado adoptions. Many people were trying to do things that worked in other sates but don't work in Colorado. They were going down the wrong paths in their search.

Q. What is the purpose of the mail list?

A. The list is meant to be a place where people can talk about problems they may have regarding a possible reunion, an existing reunion and other matters that come up in adoption search and reunion. Many people need to hear from others in trying to decide if they want to actively search or remain passive in just signing up on mutual consent registries. When possible list members help in a search.

Rarely does a Colorado person have enough information to search on their own. Those born before 1967 may have their birthname or name of their birthfamily and that can be used to try to find them. I am now seeing adoptees born after about 1975 who sometimes know their birthmom's names or their own birthnames.

If someone has decided to use the confidential intermediary system they can get recommendations on who to ask for to be their CI. Most need support from others who understand the process while they are going through the system. It can drag out at times and be hard to endure. Other times the contact comes so fast a person can feel overwhelmed by it.

Q. What is a mail list

A. A mail list is a means of communication between more than one person that is run through a server who sends each message to the list to everyone who is on the list. When you send a message it will be seen and read by all our members, but not by anyone who is not a member. When any member of our list sends a message you will receive it along with everyone who is on the list.

It is a good idea to set up a folder in your email program to direct messages that contain [Coregistry] in the subject field to go into that folder. That will make it easier to know when a list message has arrived and when you are getting a private message from someone.

Q. Is it necessary to belong to other mail lists?

A. It's a good idea. It is good for everyone to be on a list that is specific to the state of their search. It is also recommended that everyone join another list that is more general in nature. There are many good mail lists that deal with other matters in general and I suggest that everyone should also belong to one of those. Items pertaining to adoption petitions, all general announcements, poetry, prose, and things that are not specific to Colorado are not carried on this mail list.

Those who are looking for another list to join can use my list of Mail Lists to find one. Be careful of newsgroups. For some reason the newsgroups that have been set up for adoption search help are all used to rant and rave about many other things and I can not recommend any of them.

Q. General announcements, poetry, prose, and things that are not specific to Colorado: Is none of that allowed at all?

A. We do not want to duplicate what other mail lists do so well. When there is something specific to Colorado then by all means send it to us. We use Yahoogroups area for photos of members and reunion pictures. All members are encouraged to use that.

Q. What is different about the membership of the Colorado Mail list?

A. The Colorado Registry Mail List is a very special group of people who help each other in many ways. The emotional support is every bit as important as any search help. Since we have members from all segments of the Triad on the list (adoptees, birth families, adoptive families) we foster better understanding among all.

We are a small group and everyone joining quickly becomes a part of our family. We know we can trust people on the mail list to be kind and to not spread personal information to anyone not on our mail list. I am very careful who joins and limit membership to those registered with my Colorado Mutual Consent Registry. There are lots of mail list now that have over a thousand members on them. I do think it wise to be cautious what a person says on those lists. While those lists claim to be 'family' I fear I don't see how over 1,000 people can be 'family'. One needs to keep private information private when there are so many on the list.

Q. Does a person commit to anything by joining the mail list?

A. By agreeing to be on this mail list you indicate agreement to the policies outlined for this mail list. There is no commitment to anything else.

Q. Will my message to the list be broadcast throughout the internet?

A. The Colorado Registry Mail List is a private, subscription only list. This list is private and all messages are confidential. No message may be redistributed without the permission of the author. Redistribution of messages without permission will result in immediate dismissal from this mail list.

Q. What if I get private disturbing messages from a member of this list?

A. If you have a problem with any member please bring this to the attention of Ellen. Send your questions, problems, or comments to Ellen

Q. Some mail lists for adoption matters have professional searchers who solicit, what about this one?

A. No soliciting is allowed here. No member of Colorado Registry mail list may solicit another for any product, service, contract, etc. whether it be adoption related or otherwise. The mail list is not to be used to gain business from searching adoptees, and anyone doing so will be unsubscribed from this list.

Q. What about those who help for free?

A. We do encourage "search angels" and members should be aware that when helped by them they may be asked to pay for such things as gas, parking, copying fees, and postage. Help often comes from a member who lives in the right area to do some legwork for someone. If they are not doing this on a regular basis they may not ask for any reimbursement. It is those who help out on a regular basis who find that it gets much too expensive to continue doing it if they must pay all these expenses for others' searches.

Q. Who can join the mail list?

A. All who request membership are sent a questionnaire that must be answered in full before their membership takes effect. It is not too long and should be replied to in email. A person must be registered with our online Colorado Mutual Consent Registry in order to be a member of the mail list.

Because there are searchers who do not have internet connection themselves but do have a friend or relative who does, we accept those who are helping their friend or relative in a search. We also accept those whose friend or relative does not have the time to do it themselves. We have many spouses of adoptees on our mail list.

I do not allow anyone who is a professional searcher to be on the list. No Colorado Confidential Intermediaries are on the list. This is to ensure that those going through the CCIS feel free to air their troubles on the list in order to get the support they need during this time.

The Colorado Registry Mail list is open to members of the Triad and their families whose search is through the state of Colorado; and is meant to be a source of both search help and emotional help for those searching through the state of Colorado. Because this is a private mail list your subscription must be APPROVED before you will actually begin receiving list mail. When you join you will be sent a questionnaire that must be filled out in full. Please return it within two days.

I discourage all from going on under the digest form. When on digest it makes it very hard for you to participate in the discussions. The NoMail option is to be used for when you are going to be out of town or otherwise unable to keep up with the list mail. Those who are on NoMail for more than a couple weeks, without letting me know why, are automatically unsubbed from the mail list. Yahoogroups has a classification "Special Notices" and I don't even know what it is. If you choose that option for your mail delivery I will not approve you for the list. You would not receive any messages so there would be no point in membership.

Q. Is there an archive for the list?

A. The archives for list messages is closed to all but the members of the list. This is another privacy precaution.

Q. What are the most important rules for this list?

A. The major rule for this list is Be Kind to One Another. We have a nice friendly group who show respect for each other.

The second important rule is that no member should solicit other members with offers to do a search for PAY. We do understand about volunteers needing to cover their own expenses when helping others. If this is the case, when offering any help please state the need to be reimbursed for your expenses UPFRONT.

Additional rules are:
Please turn off your HTML feature when posting to the mail list. HTML is a great feature for emailing family and friends but not good for a mailing list.

We encourage all to participate. Soon after you have joined, please send an introduction to the list. Send that message to This should include some information about you and your search.

Please try to keep all posts on topic. If your post is not adoption related please put NAR (not adoption related) in the subject of your post.

Cross-posting is when a person sends the same message to many mailing lists that they are on. This is very good for getting important information out. i.e. when a match seems possible and one party is no longer found through their email address. Also search posts that are meant for the public.

Cross-posting of information about petitions, marches, bad press, etc. is not allowed on the Colorado Registry mail list. It is not specific to what our list is about. You can post that type of message to the large group mail lists that you are on.

Addresses for the Colorado Registry Mail list:
Members, Post message:


Because this list is a private list we declare all communication on the list to be private. The opinions expressed are just that, opinions only. Each member must form their own opinion based on their own research of any subject. Neither the owners of the list nor the members shall be held liable for any opinions expressed on the Colorado mail list.

The list owners, nor any subscribers may be held liable in any way for any information obtained from this list. By your use of this mailing list, you agree to hold harmless the Colorado Registry Mail List owners, and subscribers, against any and all claims arising out of such use, regardless of the fault, effects, or cause.

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